Influence and Growing Up
#family #influence #figuringitout #inspiration #quoteoftheday #momsanddaughters
Amy Tan once said, “A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin.” So much of Tan’s work explores mother-daughter relationships and identity, and the quote speaks to how deeply a mom’s influence can run. It’s not just biology; it’s emotional and psychological wiring, the way we move through the world without even thinking about it. A mother is usually the first person we attach to. Through that connection— whether it’s nurturing, complicated, distant, or totally undefined— we begin to understand who we are, and what we need.
Growing up, my mom was, and still is, the kind of person who sees everything. She’s quick, observant, and has a sense for people that’s almost uncanny. She just gets how things work— emotionally, socially, even practically. There’s a sharpness to her that’s always been impressive. As far back as I can remember, her approval wasn’t something you got just for showing up. Her standards were high, as in: if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. Pay attention. Care.
That energy shaped me. The details matter because they mattered to her. She’s the reason I send thank-you notes and place the stamp straight. The reason I check my work twice and take people seriously. She showed me how to be mindful, not just in what I do, but in how I do it. There was love in it, yes. But also clarity, and discipline. And I learned from it — still do.
The other day, we were walking through the West Village with no real agenda, just catching up, wandering around the neighborhood. Nothing significant happened, but it felt full. Like being with the person who wrote the first chapter of my story. The original guide. The one who knew me from the start.
That’s the thing about mothers — they’re where everything begins. Not just your life, but the way you see the world, the way you move through it. Their actions set the tone: how you pay attention, how you relate to people, how you show up. A mother becomes a first frame of reference. And the older I get, the more I see how much of me is shaped by her. Understanding her — the good, the hard, the complicated — has helped me understand myself. It feels like the beginning of something I’ll keep learning from for a long time.
West Village, NY #repost
West Village #repost love the trees
One of my favorite photos of my mom, sister, and niece on her first birthday wearing her Korean #hanbok
My mom at a recent art show in Hudson Yards, NY
